Sunday, July 30, 2006

Dating a Girl and Going to War

One of my teachers, a former chief of Israeli military intelligence, used to say that going to war is not like asking a girl out on a date. It is a very serious decision, to be made on the basis of carefully crafted answers to even more carefully crafted questions.

Martin van Creveld


For me, there's no difference in going to war and dating a girl. I know, it's my mistake, I know. I'm always taking it too serious. Add this to the two crunching verdicts I received in China ("Mark, you are too sensitive!" and "Mark, you are too honest!") - and you can see, why dating a girl is such an annoyance for me.

And now excuse me. I'm off to...try to date a girl. (Where's my full metal jacket?)

4 comments:

Don said...

Marian, I'm quite concerned about this. Is it just you or a more general cultural attitude in Germany? Perhaps just a Dusseldorf thing?

I've heard that Germany has a low birth rate; perhaps this could be a reason?!!!

Maybe German public TV needs to do a documentary outlining the differences between going to war and a date? Only Texans and drug gang members pack heat when going on a date, you know.

Oh, maybe Columbians also. Certain Arabs might - but I don't think that kind go on dates - they just buy a wife - or so I'm given to believe....

Marian said...

Don,

Is it just you or a more general cultural attitude in Germany? Perhaps just a Dusseldorf thing?

No, it's just me (to that extremes, at least). And Dusseldorf has definitely no dating problem. Which makes things worse for me.

I've heard that Germany has a low birth rate; perhaps this could be a reason?!!!

As far as I know, girls don't get pregnant from mere dating. In my opinion, one of the reasons for the deteriorating birth rate in Germany (and not only in Germany, for that matter) is Angst. I don't know how to change that, but apparantly, handing out even more subsidies to parents doesn't help. The government knows about that, but doesn't care. As always.

Maybe German public TV needs to do a documentary outlining the differences between going to war and a date?

If there is one institution not to blame for my dating disorder, it's German TV, no matter public or private. They really do what they can to show how easy it is to date. This is futile, though, due to the fact that I hate dating - and due to the fact that I don't have a TV set.

But let's change the subject...

they just buy a wife

I'm not so sure. Actually, it's more like Germans (fat, ugly, well off bachelors in their 40s) are buying their (Thai/Vietnamese/Chinese) wife, no?

Whereas some traditional Arab (and Chinese!) men are safed by the wonderful tool called "arranged marriage".

Don said...

"As far as I know, girls don't get pregnant from mere dating."

No, but it's a necessary step in the process except in those societies with arranged marriages (some of Islam) or wife-buying (clueless computer geeks with strong drives).

"In my opinion, one of the reasons for the deteriorating birth rate in Germany (and not only in Germany, for that matter) is Angst."

Just say no? Not to dating or sex, but to Angst? Try starting out to make friends with the opposite sex without trying for the gold ring right away. Look for someone you want to talk with regardless of the attraction factor. You may find one of them looking better every day....

That's the theory at least.

Marian said...

Don,

First, I was thinking about deleting this entry in order to restore the more or less non-personal character of this blog.

Then, I was thinking about answering you via email, since this is really drifting towards very private stuff.

Then again, quod dixi dixi...

Just say no? Not to dating or sex, but to Angst?

I'm not afraid of dating. I just don't like it. I can't find out if I like someone (to be quiet of the golden ring) by swallowing sundaes together or going to the movies. What I would hold more appropriate? To review the latest Podhoretz rant (no matter John or Norman) together or to watch the newest Milton & Rose interview or to discuss whether the liberation of women in China is on it's way or whether a project-focused approach (rather than providing dictatorships with subsidies) would be able to save the idea of "making poverty history" (or whether the whole idea is crap).

Problem is, I have yet to meet a German woman who knows you John Podhoretz is. Can you tell me, why I should waste my time watching "The Runaway Bride" or something similiar stupid with a random chick - only to find out a couple of weeks later that she doesn't know that there is a country called China?

And what is more: German girls aren't afraid of dating, but they are horryfied by the imagination that they sould be a mother prior to their 38th birthday. And with me, it's exactly the other way around. I can't see a proper solution for my problem here, sorry.

Look for someone you want to talk with regardless of the attraction factor.

Oh, it's not that I haven't tried this path. I ended up having about a dozen of female friends - half of them mad at me because I did not try to screw them and the other half disappointed because I lost interest in hearing their endless rants about how mean males in general and their various boyfriends in particular are.

(Yes, "When Harry met Sally" is one of my all-time favorites. And no, I don't want to further discuss this topic.)